In a newsfeed I thought I'd tailored to suit myself pretty well (mistakenly, I now see), I've lately found a lot of people carrying on as experts about an issue that really is more heartbreaking and complex than those who haven't been part of it can understand.
It is funny (or sadly, not) how opinions work. We all have millions of them, don't we?
At the ripe old age of 35, one little morsel (an opinion, too) I have come to believe is I really do not need to publicly assert my thoughts on anything I do not have direct experience with; well, at least not outside of obvious moral codes like:
Don't murder people for fun, Don't steal unless you're starving to death. . .
You know, the basics. But even those, some person will take issue (that opinion thing).
I try, when I really have no first hand knowledge of something, to hold my peace. Perhaps I will connect a few bits somewhat related I do know about, throw it in for conversation's sake, but otherwise, I try to let it be or admit, "I can't say for sure. I haven't been there."
So these posts about sexual harassment, rape, assault and the like are incredibly bizarre and sad to read because most of the people chiming in are making one thing clear: They aren't rapists or sexual predators, haven't been accused or assaulted and aren't part of the particular case in question (and there are many). They just "KNOW" all the things about "it." Funny, how can they? But there it "ALL" is. . .
They know why men rape. They know women's clothing is the reason (and if men are sure of this, it concerns me just how they can be SO sure, really). They know how women can keep themselves safe. They know who is being honest in the reported cases. They know who isn't. They know men are the victims, not women. They know ALL the things. Their misguided mama told them, "If a girl shows it, she is asking for it," and by golly, their mama told them so; it is the gospel. They also find a way to show God approves of their ideology.
They are frequently deciding the guilt or innocence of people in cases based on quasi-media stories of people they do not know, but that doesn't matter to them a bit.
But the actual truth simply doesn't jive with their theories. For every false or inflated report, an massive number of brutal rapes, molestations and assaults go unreported. At least 1 in 6 women (as adults, teens or children) are raped or are attempted rape victims in most published data. 1 in 6, friendly folks, but honestly, I feel the numbers are greater. And that means we can safely, sanely assume far, far more women are harassed (either verbally or physically). 1 in 5 little girls are molested. 80% of humans trafficked are women or girls. Globally, 1 in 3 women are raped. Interestingly, while people debate a little on numbers, in my own life, I know a LOT of women, and more have been raped than haven't when asked. This is serious. It isn't a joke. It isn't something to make snide, insane comments over.
Let a group of young men hold your 14 year old daughter in a room and tell her she asked for it and that no doesn't matter and follow it up by telling her that her shorts made them do it.
Of course, like with any crime, Innocent people are accused and convicted. With Any Crime. . . But when folks are falsely accused of murders and thefts, it doesn't make us think murder or theft happens any less or assume when we hear a report, it isn't true, yet when men are accused of harassment and rape, it the first reaction by many are the story is either untrue (and this applies frequently with children, too), inflated or at the least, the woman begged for it with her tone, clothing or actions.
I take false accusations of anything seriously. Compared to the mountains of women I know sexual abused, compared to the numbers consistently reported, the number of false accusations pale when compared.
Do you know how many times I notice rape hotline flyers put up and the numbers take and the flyer being replaced the next week? These women are not taking these numbers to call a hotline to "cry" about false sexual assault. Give me a break.
The truth is. . .the risk to women is much higher than it is to men when it comes to rape, molestation, assault, harassment. . . in many, many (most) ways. It doesn't mean excuse lies, but it does mean that the MOST serious threat in the area of sexual assault is the number of men actually harming women and the number of women scared and ashamed to speak about it.
That has to BE A FOCUS. The Focus. It is like knowing we have children going hungry by the multitudes and harping on giving free lunches. It is not something compassionate, reasonable people should do.
How on Earth can so many, right now, be raving about the number of men that are or might be falsely accused in a voice so much louder than the MASSES of women who suffer in silence or suffer knowing their rapist or assailant will never answer for what he has done or worry each time they go out after dark in an area that isn't known to be safe for work or travel or whatever? I suspect that never, ever will more men be accused of sexual crimes than go unpunished for real, gruesome sexual crimes.
And doesn't the fact America's media and public are happily talking about women creating the problem in 2017 show us how broken this society's mindset is still?
Victims do not make criminals commit crimes. Period. The end.
Criminals select victims for a multitude of reasons, but if you think a rapist would have not raped had we kept women all covered up and silent with averted eyes, check some history books and look across the oceans to learn better.
I literally just noticed a post that read, "Does dressing like a slut invite (not excuse) sexual harassment?"
Of course, what we know by the sheer number of little girls molested by close male relatives is sexual predators can find any number of things "tantalizing," and if someone is a predator, there is no way to have any idea what catches their interest. Babies are raped. Babies. Sexual deviants are demented. Maybe they like babies, short women, red lipstick or heels or sneakers or hats or boyish figured.
It is interesting how I can be downright passionate about beautiful shoes but manage to walk through Macy's, look at a fine pair of sexy stilettos and make it out of the store without stealing them, yet society says a man can't look at a woman in the wrong dress and not rip her into pieces with his lust.
It is interesting how I can be downright passionate about beautiful shoes but manage to walk through Macy's, look at a fine pair of sexy stilettos and make it out of the store without stealing them, yet society says a man can't look at a woman in the wrong dress and not rip her into pieces with his lust.
A woman cannot live in fear that her shoes, shorts or hair might provoke a sexual predator at any given moment, though sadly, she does need to be aware, no matter her attire, size or age, because at least 1 in 6 or more women will be sexually abused, so. . .
I've been there. More than once. As a child. As a teenager. As young woman. I can't recall I was especially provocative as a young kid or young adult, but it didn't matter much to sexual predators. . .because predators are just that. If not me, someone else would have been found.
And here we are, still a society which shames women and children into silence with these bandwagons of crazy "know nothings" screaming "false alarm" over and over until victims are scared witless and living under even more shame. . . because that is what a decent society that care about people does?
Hardly.
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